Abu have a very peculiar relationship towards hope. He knows that one should always rely & hope for the best from his or her Lord but secretly deep down inside, whatever things he do, he will always did it just for the sake of obtaining the pleasure of his Lord. 

I mean, as much as he dislike to admit it, he had somehow ingrained in his mind & especially his heart that expectation really is the root of all heartache. And let me tell you heartache is really is a dangerous thing. Amidala even died from it. Hehe.


Abu had always like to read the Quran. He does not know why but be as it may, he found calmness in it. Within that short period of time of reciting, everything else really disappear into the background. Your work? Your worry? Especially your worldly worry, poof, just like that. I guess not only that the Devils disappear but your heart too find calmness. I guess both the reciting of the Quran & your heart have the same wavelength? That's why they're so in rhythm? You know just like how optometrist would recommend those that have eyesight problem to keep looking at greenery? (You know because stuff around us 'emit' lights etc to our eyes yada yada).


But Abu figure, too much of a good thing (read: Quran) perhaps is not that good? At least for him that is. So he decided that during his (last) visit to Masjid Nabawi, he would bring along his copy of the Riyadussalihin & continue reading it instead. Well, you might lose the 10 ajr per letter reward but Abu reckon that him being a very corrupt speaker, a bad worshiper, a lousy son, and an overall sub-par Muslim, there's no other way of being (physically) close to the Rasul of Allah than this act, and this act alone. At least in this world.

Abu can't hope to dream of him. Abu can't hope of being close to him in Jannah (unless Abu adopt a child? Cheatcode detected. Also, side thought, does it mean those who have adopted children gain automatic Jannah entry? Whoah). And Abu reckon he might not even had a glimpse of him either - just imagine the line outside of the Prophet house in Jannah. (Or do he just you know face time & stuff? The things we can't imagine in Jannah eh?). 

Worst case scenario, should he being dragged face down to Hellfire, reciting the Son of Abdullah words in his mosque is the closest thing of a feeling he could get in his entire lifetime - both current & the next.

What a sorrow feeling indeed.

And whilst Abu busy trying to understand the text inside the book - with his very limited understanding of Arabic, the guy next to him - which Abu had noticed been looking Abu's way since the Azan, asks Abu a question. In Arabic that is. Abu figure because he saw Abu kept underlining some verb / words of Arabic in the book of Riyadussalihin.

"Do you understand Arabic?"

"A little", Abu answered shyly.

And the next couple of words that came out of the guy's mouth is lost in Abu's mind. He could not hope of translating it nor grasp or remember any of it.

Except the words of 'Jannatun Na'im'.

Every once in a while the guy would stop in hopes of Abu interjecting with some polite word of humbleness, but Abu being Abu, he could only say,

"Why do you say this?", while smiling.

Abu could not think of any other structure of sentences to reply the man & by the time the guy kinda tired of speaking alone, the muazzin already sounded the iqamah. After the prayer, the guy immediately went off with his friends & Abu continue to read the Riyadussalihin & soon after broke into tears - and I mean a really heavy one, realizing the fact that this is as close as he can get to the Prophet of Allah. Abu can't even converse in the same language as His beloved does. What a shame.


Despite all his shortcoming, major sins, lousiness & bracing towards the anticipation of major heartbreak, with all the sunnah that Abu did daily, especially those in secret like those elaborated duas the Prophet made while putting his right hand under his right cheek, that he memorized - & with the hopes of Allah will always allow & guide him to do so, Abu sincerely hope that Muhammad s.a.w. (the sahabah would flip if they know Abu call him by his name, no? Haha), would look him in the eye & make a case for him (& his entire family & the ummah at large) in front of Rabbul 'Alamin in Judgement Day.

It is a whole lot better to wait & experienced heart wrenching heartbreak in this world than to have to do the same in the next.